Mediation and Leadership

“In the past a leader was a boss. Today’s leaders must be partners with their people; they no longer can lead solely based on positional power.” – Ken Blanchard 

I recently completed training on mediation for legal cases. The class was terrific, and I learned how conflict resolution is similar to leadership and consulting. Both roles require a delicate blend of skills, abilities, and posture.  

Empathy: The Core of Connection.

Both leaders and mediators are at their best when they understand the emotions and the perspectives of the human beings they are with. Humility, curiosity, and empathy are the foundation of a trusting relationship. Tone, body language, and curiosity questions build trust and rapport, which allows mediators and leaders to resolve problems more quickly and inspire and motivate others to focus on a shared future.

Listening: The Foundation of Communication

Effective communication is non-negotiable for both mediators and leaders. Great mediators and leaders understand that listening is the foundation for excellent communication. They get curious, ask open-ended questions, and ensure everyone’s voice is heard and understood (even if people disagree). By modeling great listening, mediators and leaders inspire those around them to listen to one another. This means teams and parties communicate naturally without always resorting to formal top-down communication.

Neutrality and Fairness:  The Creativity of a Judgment-Free Zone

If you’ve ever attended a good mediation, you know that great mediators remain neutral and keep their judgments out of the equation. Excellent mediators and leaders are genuinely interested in learning more and hearing what people say. In addition to creating equity, suspending bias and judgment allows others to get creative. Team members and parties become more confident in offering solutions when not judged. That confidence leads to greater creativity and often to a solution that no person would have found without the ability to work together.  

Patience & Perseverance: Navigating Challenges

Radical hopefulness is a faith that the people within the team or the conflict not only have everything they need to solve a problem but are also capable of applying their creativity, knowledge, and humanness to create a solution together. That kind of hopefulness requires patience and perseverance. Patience is a virtue for both mediators and leaders. Conflicts and challenges don’t resolve overnight. A good mediator remains patient, guiding parties toward resolution despite setbacks. A good leader demonstrates perseverance, staying committed to their goals even in the face of obstacles.

Testing: The Connection to Reality

Great leaders and mediators adopt a posture of radical hopefulness while holding firm to reality simultaneously. They will test ideas and positions with others through difficult questions. They will ask, “What do you think will happen if…..” “How likely is that….” “How will this solution hold up when….” In addition to asking questions, mediators and leaders remain grounded in reality by sharing the information they have. This allows teams and parties to formulate more realistic strategies and outcomes.

Details: The Signposts to the Way Forward

Before moving forward, mediators and leaders capture the details. They make sure that any solutions are explicit about the why, who, what, where, when, and how. They capture those details in writing.  This documentation ensures that everyone knows what is expected, what is coming next, and what they can count on others for. Mediation, meetings, or solutions are only worthwhile if everyone can agree on what happened, what was said, or what the agreement was.

Good mediators and leaders share a common foundation of empathy, listening, fairness, patience, reality, and commitment to details. They are focused on co-creating solutions rather than imposing resolutions. By understanding and honing these traits, individuals can excel in both roles, positively impacting their personal and professional lives.