Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Building an authentic relationship, whether it is with a donor, potential investor, partner, professional colleague, or friend, takes time.

When building deep, authentic relationships, it can help to think in three time-related dimensions…yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Yesterday.

Every relationship begins at some point in time. If it is a new donor relationship, you have the opportunity to start your organization's relationship with that individual. (Click here to read best practices on initiating a donor relationship.)

In organizational advancement and fundraising, we often find ourselves continuing a relationship with a donor that another person started at a previous point in time. In these cases, it is helpful to remember that we stand on the shoulders of those that came before us. We are leveraging the relationship they built, recognizing that our role is shepherding, nurturing, and carrying the relationship forward.

Many leaders tend to forget that this past relationship has context. The context of a past relationship revolves around three axis points: the individual, the organization, and the relationship builder. Listening to and deeply understanding these three axis points will help you see a donor's history with the mission of your organization, the organization's history with them, and the person responsible for developing that relationship. Honoring this context as you proceed will support your relationship-building efforts and what you can do next.

Today.

What we do today to build a donor's relationship with our organization matters. Not only does it allow us to honor the donor's history with our organization, but it also creates space for something new to emerge, for learning to take place, and to explore new opportunities. (Click here to read best practices on developing a donor relationship.)

Last week, I worked with a client to prepare to launch the quiet phase of the organization's funding initiative. We reviewed the usual spreadsheets on donor giving, analyzed giving trends, and ensured the dataset was complete. During this process, I posed a curious question, 'do you have a sense of where your relationship is at today with major donors as it relates to the organization's future as a result of COVID-19?'

No matter how this type of question is answered, you get a clear understanding of where relationship momentum is at within an organization. Momentum is the force in any relationship that keeps it growing, making it stronger, and moving it in a direction. It's like riding a bike; moving the peddles keeps the bike and the rider steady, going in a forward direction and in harmony with each other. It also leads you to what's next in the relationship…its future state, and what together can be accomplished through it.

Tomorrow.

Relationships are wonderful things when they are in the present moment—enjoying a boat ride with a friend, playing a round of golf with a donor, enjoying a drink on the veranda at sunset. Every relationship needs this space to deepen, relax, and enjoy the benefit of having the relationship in the first place.

If we only exist in the past and present, a relationship can get stale. As leaders, we also have to exist and live into the future we seek. Herein lies one of the most challenging components in any relationship-building enterprise…the unknown. Moving from what was (yesterday), to what is (today), to what could be (tomorrow), can be scary, in part because we may need to change elements of the relationship. This unknown can bring fear and uncertainty—a 'wobble' in our biking analogy.

I use the word change because what we do today impacts our future, and sometimes that requires us to change. Moving back to our example scenario, the future vision the leader (and her board) outlined required transformation. Transformation within the organization, its leaders, its employees, its community…including its donors. To achieve this transformation, the conversation and, most importantly, the relationship with donors needed to change. Relationships needed to be more open, thought-provoking, and engaging the donor's insights, expertise, and wisdom.

This added an element of risk. What if the donors don't want to change their relationship with us? What if they don't want to engage in a more thought-provoking process to understand our community's needs? What if we don't like what they have to say? What if…what if?

She bravely, with a posture of curiosity and trusting in the relationships she had already built, began to move the conversation in that direction—one pedal at a time.

Developing deep and authentic donor relationships means that we honor the past and build through the present to live into the future fully. Seeing clearly how these three dimensions impact your next step can help transform your organization, your leadership, and how donors engage in both!

If you would like to schedule a high-value 30-minute discovery call to talk about donor relationship building, I'd be honored to walk alongside you. As always, please feel free to call me at 616.516.9870 or e-mail me at lons@designgroupintl.com.

Walking alongside you,

Lon L. Swartzentruber
CEO, Design Group International
Senior Design Partner