Your New Wine and New Wineskin

If memory serves, every blog that I've ever written comes from experiences with clients. The stories that you read are from their journey, a hero's journey really, shared with you as I walk with them along their way.

Recently, I began coaching a former client. For some time, he and I have known each other, previously helping him develop a relational governance model with his board of trustees. This work led us understanding each other rather well.

When he reached out to begin a new chapter in our work together, I suggested that we use the iEQ9 Enneagram Assessment to help kick off his leadership coaching. For those unfamiliar with the Enneagram, it is centuries old and helps you understand your core motivation. To a certain extent, what gets you out of bed every day of your life and how you show up in a room.

My client is an Enneagram 2, the Considerate Helper (for those of you who know me, so am I 😀).

During this year of COVID, he has gotten stuck, or as he chose to describe it, started to swirl. He shared a few stories of how he went between pleasing those around him and trying to get 'his work done.' The only problem was, he couldn't do both. He thought he was helping by putting out fires, addressing important issues with his board of trustees, keeping donors happy, and addressing pressing issues with his staff. Unfortunately, he was unhappy, exhausted, having no energy for what he really wanted to do. He needed a change.

So, he and I took a deep breath about 30 minutes into our call.

Not knowing exactly what to do next, I suggested something that came to me just a moment before. (In coaching what is called Dance in the Moment.) I said, 'let's get out a piece of paper and make two columns. In the first column, put what you really want to do. And on the second'…before I could finish my sentence, he blurted out…' what others can do better than I can.'

Eureka!

For him, something happened during COVID. His approach to work wasn't working any longer. He needed a new one…he needed new wine. As our conversation progressed, he started to identify new skills he wanted to develop, new ways of letting things go, and new ways of working with his team.

He also started to think of his job in a new and different way…a new wineskin of sorts. Three years ago, he replaced a well-loved and long-term executive director. As a new executive, he brought needed organizational change by trimming costs, increasing revenue, and repairing some important donor relationships. All things he was familiar with doing and had done successfully in past roles.

However, during COVID, something else was needed from his leadership…he needed to adapt and make a more profound personal transformation. He needed to lead the entire organization, and that was something he hadn't done before. Ron Heifetz describes an adaptive challenge as a murky systemic problem with no easy answer. Solving adaptive challenges takes learning, individually and collectively, and can be aided by people throughout the organization getting involved and not just inside the C-Suite.

The last part of our call focused on the second column…what others can do better than I can. This list was a little more difficult to populate, partly because he needed to do some homework and start asking a lot of questions of himself, his team, and the board of trustees.

I do not doubt that he will eventually figure this out because he is not the only one seeking to advance the organization's mission. Sometimes Enneagram 2s believe that they are the ones who provide help and often quickly forget to ask for help themselves. At the end of the day, being a part of a cause greater means that the cause is greater than one individual (you or me), a team, a board, or for that matter, the organization itself.

If it is time for some new wine or new wineskin, please feel free to schedule a high-value 30-minute discovery call to talk about your adaptive challenge, I'd be honored to listen. As always, please feel free to call me at 616.516.9870 or e-mail me at lons@designgroupintl.com.

Walking alongside you,

Lon L. Swartzentruber
CEO, Design Group International
Senior Design Partner